I Dream of Movement

Almost every night of my life, I have had dreams. Some I remember only for a few moments. Some I remember for an hour or so. Some I never forget.

I received my diagnosis of Parkinson’s disease 10 years ago. I have continued to dream. Most of my dreams are pleasant. Some are strange. I rarely have nightmares. In all my dreams, I have never had Parkinson’s. I always move and function normally. The closest I have come to having a problem moving in a dream is one dream I had when I was a child. I was being chased by a bear and I could only move in slow motion…( reminds me of what it feels like to have Parkinsons ). Other than that, I have always dreamt of movement. One of the insidious aspects of Parkinson’s for me is that when I wake up in the morning, for a few moments I will lay in bed and remember my dream of unincumbered movement. For a few minutes each day, I forget I have this terrible disease. Then I move. That’s when all the realities come flooding back. I remember all the pain, trembling, shuffled steps, slurred speech, choking, pills. I remember all the things I use to do that I am now unable to do. It all comes rushing back into the reality of my life. Then I slowly and painfully go through the arduous task of getting out of bed to confront all of the challenges this life of sickness has in store for me.

But I thank God that despite the normalcy my dreams of movement are keeping alive, I am still able to get up in the morning. Thankful that I can still find joy and fulfillment in discovering new ways of traveling this path neither He or I would have chosen for me. Thankful for the joy of loving and being loved by a great wife, great family and friends, and a great God.

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